My Secret Bargain E-Book

Description

This is a book about exploring my inner life. The journey began on the top of a staircase. With each downward step I was forced to face the many lies Fear’s voice had convinced me were true about my potential and future. Eventually these lies created a prison holding hostage my gifts, potential, purpose, and loving guidance, now imprisoned at the bottom of the stairs. Standing in front of the bars of the prison, I was forced with a truth I did not want to see. I had let Fear control my life. I let fear brain wash me. It defined who I was and capable of becoming. I now saw My Secret Bargain…the bargain I made with Fear as a child. A bargain is an agreement made by two or more parties, each expecting an agreed upon outcome. Fear had an expectation from the agreement just like I did, and Fear received exactly what was agreed to: my allegiance. My expectation was safety. Safety from the rejection, criticism, or judgement I met as I acted upon my desires and sharing with others my true self. The quickest and easiest way to achieve safety from the pain was to eliminate the perceived problem…me! Fear gave me a way to stay safe. All I needed to do was listen to and believe in Fear’s voice as it convinced me to ignore my own needs and desires. This denial of my spark gave me a sense of control and safety because other people did not reject, shame, ignore, or judge me if I kept a large part of who I was imprisoned. This seemed to work, so I made a life out of ignoring my own needs and desires. This Bargain might have kept me safe from the rejection I experienced as a child, but eventually Fear’s energy grew in its ability to control me. With Fear’s voice so strong in my life, I could no longer hear my own desires connected with loving guidance. Uncovering the truth of My Secret Bargain gave me a reason to question Fear’s voice and set my real self free.